Every so often someone sends me a manuscript and asks for my comments. Often times, I don't have time to read them and suggest they seek out a local writers group. But not long ago, during a slow period, I read one of these manuscripts. It was a mystery with a clever and complex plot. It was well thought out and I could tell the writer had put a lot of time into her story. The writing was clear and concise. There were very few of the mistakes that novices often make, such as the repetition of words or phrases within the same sentence or paragraph.

However, at no time did I feel that I was reading a novel. Instead of a novel, the writer had written a 150-page outline for a novel. The problem was that the writer insisted on telling us the story, rather than showing it. In other words, I didn't see the story through the eyes of the main characters. I felt as if I were reading the plot for a novel, but not a novel.

I suggested that the writer pick out three or four characters who should live the story. The reader must identify or empathize with the protagonist and his or her plight. Likewise, the reader, in most cases, should despise the antagonist I also told her to read the masters of perspective and suggested Spenserville, by Nelson DeMille, as one excellent example.

I knew that if she re-wrote her story, focusing on the main characters and showing the other characters through their eyes, she could create a compelling read. I hope to find that novel in a book store someday.

Rob MacGregor is the author of the Edgar award winning young adult novel, Prophecy Rock. His following novel for Simon and Schuster, HAWK MOON, was nominated for the same award. For Avon Books, Rob MacGregor has written the novelization for the movie, The Phantom as well as many others recently. In addition, Mr. MacGregor is known for his many Indiana Jones’ books, based on the movie character, Indiana Jones.